Two more days at the bakery and that will be it. There is a definite sense of excitement and anxiety, but also one of melancholy and something I can only describe as nostalgia. I spent two and a half years working at this bakery and I can honestly say I will miss the people here very much. I will miss the comradery and working in tandem to accomplish a goal and most importantly fulfilling that goal. I will miss the creative freedom of filling the cake case and playing with different techniques. I will miss learning new things from people who have been decorating cakes for as long as I have been alive.
I will miss the free sweets.
However, there is a reason why I chose to move on from this job. The stress, ungodly work load, pathetic wages, and horrible customers? Yeah, I will not miss that AT ALL. Yes, go kindly find your way into oncoming traffic.
At this point in my life, I am still unsure of what I want and have a feeling that I may never know. I always thought you kind of molded yourself into a certain shape to fit into a groove that would lead you to wear you wanted to go, but it seems that life is more like finding anything that fits you, even if it is not a good fit, and running it. Most of the time you're blind to where it is leading you and you only hope there isn't a wall up ahead that will smash your bones.
What I am about to go try and do is not easy, it is not ideal, hell it can be down right deadly! But it is something. I can't say right now if I will like living in a truck for weeks at a time. I can't say if I won't still want to go to school afterwards. But what I can say is this:
I am ready for a new adventure.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Mitch Hedburg Was Right
Mitch Hedberg once said: "Man, I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask 'em where they're goin' an' hook up with'm later..."
Then he died of a drug overdose in New Jersey.
...take that as you will.
Dreams are a funny thing. When you're a kid, you dream of becoming something awe-inspiring. Well, at least to you. Lots of people have a philosophy of putting everything they have into achieving their dream while on the other side of the spectrum there are those who condemn the 'follow your dreams' manifesto.
"Dreams don't put food on the table."
"Money won't make you happy."
I've struggled with this notion of being happy for a long time. My generation was part of such a large push for college education. I was made to think, since the 6th grade, that I would fail at life and be almost assuredly miserable if I did not go to college and get a degree. To my school councilors and teachers, it didn't matter WHAT you went to college for or for how long or what school. We just knew we better get our freshly graduated ass cheeks into a college course and soon. Well, for me it seems college remains illusive. And in many respects it might be just as well seeing as I've ska-doodled through so many career choices and possible majors in the time I've been thinking about school. In my heart, I want to be an artist. It almost doesn't matter what kind of artist. I just want to CREATE. But I was always reminded of how risky such a career path was. For every great artist there are thousands of others who didn't make it and not for lack of talent or drive. The Starving Artist is very much an apt stereotype.
Plus, tuition at art colleges is really high.
However, I didn't want a job I didn't like. I had an epiphany later about my art and career choices, something that never occured to me before: no matter what I chose to peruse as a career, I would always be an artist. Neither was relevant to the other. Degrees in art are no less mandatory to being an artist than knowing how the human body works is mandetory to being human. It just IS. And somewhere in my twisted mind I had come up with this notion that if I don't get a JOB as an artist I won't BE an artists. Artists are not like Doctors. No degree required. Passion and a little talent is all you need.
So I'm going to take the Beatles advice and just let it be...
My art is who I am. So if I decided trucking is the right job for me, I will still continue to draw and paint and write. Worrying about things like my destiny and such won't do anything but give me ulcers and make me miserable through my own self subjugation.
I am my own worst enemy, but I am primed and ready to defend myself from...myself.
Y'know, that sounded a lot better in my head...
Then he died of a drug overdose in New Jersey.
...take that as you will.
Dreams are a funny thing. When you're a kid, you dream of becoming something awe-inspiring. Well, at least to you. Lots of people have a philosophy of putting everything they have into achieving their dream while on the other side of the spectrum there are those who condemn the 'follow your dreams' manifesto.
"Dreams don't put food on the table."
"Money won't make you happy."
I've struggled with this notion of being happy for a long time. My generation was part of such a large push for college education. I was made to think, since the 6th grade, that I would fail at life and be almost assuredly miserable if I did not go to college and get a degree. To my school councilors and teachers, it didn't matter WHAT you went to college for or for how long or what school. We just knew we better get our freshly graduated ass cheeks into a college course and soon. Well, for me it seems college remains illusive. And in many respects it might be just as well seeing as I've ska-doodled through so many career choices and possible majors in the time I've been thinking about school. In my heart, I want to be an artist. It almost doesn't matter what kind of artist. I just want to CREATE. But I was always reminded of how risky such a career path was. For every great artist there are thousands of others who didn't make it and not for lack of talent or drive. The Starving Artist is very much an apt stereotype.
Plus, tuition at art colleges is really high.
However, I didn't want a job I didn't like. I had an epiphany later about my art and career choices, something that never occured to me before: no matter what I chose to peruse as a career, I would always be an artist. Neither was relevant to the other. Degrees in art are no less mandatory to being an artist than knowing how the human body works is mandetory to being human. It just IS. And somewhere in my twisted mind I had come up with this notion that if I don't get a JOB as an artist I won't BE an artists. Artists are not like Doctors. No degree required. Passion and a little talent is all you need.
So I'm going to take the Beatles advice and just let it be...
My art is who I am. So if I decided trucking is the right job for me, I will still continue to draw and paint and write. Worrying about things like my destiny and such won't do anything but give me ulcers and make me miserable through my own self subjugation.
I am my own worst enemy, but I am primed and ready to defend myself from...myself.
Y'know, that sounded a lot better in my head...
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